After watching Crazy, Stupid, Love I can hereby confirm to you all that I’m not crazy and I’m definitely not stupid, but I am in love. With this film. Which is crazy, but surprisingly not stupid.
It stars the hottest people in the world and Julianne Moore figuring out how to best procreate and apparently the answer is always knock back six gallons of hard liquor. Vodka if you’re a man, whisky if you’re a woman, because who needs gender stereotypes when you can have transgender stereotypes? And yes before you ask Steve Carrell does count as one of those ‘hot’ people, so sue us. It’s fine though because we’re about to write five paragraphs on Ryan Gosling.
The idea, the man, the abs. Those are just three of the things he has going for him plus the boy can act we have to throw it to him. We like how he acts in leather jackets, in suits, in blood, but mostly we like the way he acts out of his clothes into his car and right to our house, that’s the sort of talent Brando never had. He even acted alongside a toothpick and along with children and animals they’re just a no-no, but somehow baby-duck Gosling pulled it off.
Crazy, Stupid, Love is one of those films that makes you change your mind about ‘those kind of films’ and along the way it makes you wish you had this exact life and when I say, “this exact life,” what I mean is it makes you wish you were one half of the pair Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, it really doesn’t matter who you are because they are both incredible human beings with life’s more fulfilling than whatever it is you’re doing right now: said the girl writing this at 2 am.
In seriousness though (dim the house lights) it was more than just funny, it was a steam train chugging away; all aboard the Emotional Express: destination, your heart strings. You might not actually learn anything that you can put into action because like us you’re a lonely soul, a lone wolf, a lone ranger…you get the gist. The great thing here though is IT DOESN’T MATTER because now that you’ve seen Crazy, Stupid, Love you’re fucked, well and truly and doubly if you’re in a relationship, so sorry guys, sorry. You might be wondering why and I’m going to tell you that after a short paragraph on goddess Emma Stone.
The illusion, the woman, the fiery hair. She’s gone from strength to The Helpful strength since her days of teen comedy, wait you thought this was a teen comedy? GET OUT OF MY BLOG YOU VAGRANT. She’s a serious actor now with her films about the issues jazzed up for a new generation, I mean I learnt such important life lessons from Easy A, like never have a bitch for a best friend and that served me well in my life.
Why you’re all fucked, single or not.
Why would you want to be part of any couple where you aren’t with or made up of the genetic code of Emma Stone and/or Ryan Gosling? You wouldn’t. Even when they aren’t having sex and they’re just talking about their sublime lives they’re having better sex than you. Ryan Gosling is the most casually charming six pack you will ever meet mixed with the perfect amount of sleaze. His voice is alluring and confuses us in our quest to have a defined sexuality. Someone make this man James Bond right now, seriously. He’s all vulnerable and secure and smouldering, he’s sort of surpassed ‘man’ status now, he’s a phenomenon and we’re going to start The Church of the Latter Day Ryan’s if you fancy joining?
Emma’s here too dumping the begeesers out of Josh Groban for being a massive knob which is unfortunate because we actually quite like a bit of the wet, sappy Groban, obviously, he’s not good enough for our Em, but then who is? (Ryan). She plays it all empowered woman who doesn’t need love, but her heart soon melts when she gets a load of him. Her hair is fabulous; even when covered in water from the sky. She does her little array of laughs and voices and of course the obligatory snort which we’re convinced is a clause in her contract somewhere. IT’S ADORABLE. She’s so ‘every girl’ which is what the world loves about her, so it’s a real shame when you realise you could never be her, not Emma, not that beacon of worship.
What that all should say is that you might want to watch Crazy, Stupid, Love and change your life in in the trivial ways that really matter. I mean you’ll never get laid looking like that. No, you should be taking tips from this man who doesn’t actually look too much like what he’s aiming for, but you know it’s the thought that counts or something equally meaningful about how it;s great to not be yourself.